uneasy...

don't know why...

i just can't feel easy when i seeing those personal message of them with those words...
sometimes i just feel disgusts....
and i can't it...

but i still go read them...

then after reading i will say "oh my god...*with disgust and uneasy feeling*..."
think that why should they show it up to whole world...

if they are not successful...
if they have problem with each other..
is they gonna show it up to the whole world know?

gosh...i just can't think of bad thing would happen to them...
but some how...i did...
sweat...

oh GOD...forgive me and control me...

now just waiting for the decision from C...
our relationship...
there still have much distance to travel...
have much thing to learn and practice...
oh GOD...help us to reach our journey...

i try to change for C...*as i try to change for J last time*...
don't want to be bad...

oh...i will keep praying for C and me...